Another of your sharing hits home. Phew. Yes, I remember - age 11 - when my parents divorced and we moved with my mom to another city. Interesting too, as I felt it as abandonment, but yes, loss in that too, and what I talked about abandonment in my weekly video reading this week - what I'm beginning to see even more now - is patterns I had in play - some painful and which I wish to let go of now.
This morning I came across this sharing from Franciscan Richard Rohr which hit home too so thought I'd share it here also:
"We cannot think our way into transformation. We must live ourselves into it — often weeping our way through it.
Anger against the tragic absurdity of life is deserved and necessary, but if we do not transform our anger, we will transmit it. I’ve come to believe that tears hold the key to our deeper transformation. Tears are the sign of a soul beginning to surrender to love."
Seeing patterns is a gift of age and the willingness to look for them. Release and healing begins as soon as you see them. I love Richard Rohr and his quote is spot on and timely. Thank you. 💕
I grew up in Pittsburgh, PA. My mom was from England and had relatives living in So. CA. She was tired of the cold weather. At age 14, as I was going into middle school, attending the firehall dances, getting more involved with school and friends, my parents told me we were moving to So. California. At first, we moved in with the relatives. My female cousin was the same age as me, but we were very different. I remember sitting on my dad's lap crying that I wanted to go home. But where was home now? And it was ironic that my mom and her cousin had a big disagreement and that was the end of their relationship. We moved out of their house and never saw them again. I was too young to understand home was wherever I was with people I loved. I didn't have an easy time in school. My mom found a nice apartment until she would find a house in an area she liked. So once again, after a few years in one school, we moved as I was going into my senior year. By that time, there was no chance of friendships. I'm still in touch with one of my school friends in PA; usually at holiday time. At this stage of my life, I've learned to let most of this go. Yet it followed when I had a child. We lived in the same house, so our child would go from elementary school through high school without disruption. This experience affected me in so many ways.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sandi. You described so perfectly the pain so many children experience when uprooted. And ultimately, we do adapt and even gain an awareness of and sensitivity to the needs of our own children. Our parents generation were less attuned to their inner workings or ours. A large part of the reason for she our move was also my mother's desire to leave the cold long Maine winters. She was also English!
You were at the age where disruption and loss become so important. Predictability is gone, as is familiarity with where you are. Even with family around you, these separations matter so much as your stability is uprooted. My family moved when I was 6, and I don't remember any of what you felt. I wonder how your older siblings responded to all this.
I think that would round out your own experience. Plus, your children will be curious about how their aunts and uncle reacted. I know my grown children are very curious about their relatives long-gone, or ones they rarely see.
Another of your sharing hits home. Phew. Yes, I remember - age 11 - when my parents divorced and we moved with my mom to another city. Interesting too, as I felt it as abandonment, but yes, loss in that too, and what I talked about abandonment in my weekly video reading this week - what I'm beginning to see even more now - is patterns I had in play - some painful and which I wish to let go of now.
This morning I came across this sharing from Franciscan Richard Rohr which hit home too so thought I'd share it here also:
"We cannot think our way into transformation. We must live ourselves into it — often weeping our way through it.
Anger against the tragic absurdity of life is deserved and necessary, but if we do not transform our anger, we will transmit it. I’ve come to believe that tears hold the key to our deeper transformation. Tears are the sign of a soul beginning to surrender to love."
XO
Seeing patterns is a gift of age and the willingness to look for them. Release and healing begins as soon as you see them. I love Richard Rohr and his quote is spot on and timely. Thank you. 💕
I grew up in Pittsburgh, PA. My mom was from England and had relatives living in So. CA. She was tired of the cold weather. At age 14, as I was going into middle school, attending the firehall dances, getting more involved with school and friends, my parents told me we were moving to So. California. At first, we moved in with the relatives. My female cousin was the same age as me, but we were very different. I remember sitting on my dad's lap crying that I wanted to go home. But where was home now? And it was ironic that my mom and her cousin had a big disagreement and that was the end of their relationship. We moved out of their house and never saw them again. I was too young to understand home was wherever I was with people I loved. I didn't have an easy time in school. My mom found a nice apartment until she would find a house in an area she liked. So once again, after a few years in one school, we moved as I was going into my senior year. By that time, there was no chance of friendships. I'm still in touch with one of my school friends in PA; usually at holiday time. At this stage of my life, I've learned to let most of this go. Yet it followed when I had a child. We lived in the same house, so our child would go from elementary school through high school without disruption. This experience affected me in so many ways.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sandi. You described so perfectly the pain so many children experience when uprooted. And ultimately, we do adapt and even gain an awareness of and sensitivity to the needs of our own children. Our parents generation were less attuned to their inner workings or ours. A large part of the reason for she our move was also my mother's desire to leave the cold long Maine winters. She was also English!
You were at the age where disruption and loss become so important. Predictability is gone, as is familiarity with where you are. Even with family around you, these separations matter so much as your stability is uprooted. My family moved when I was 6, and I don't remember any of what you felt. I wonder how your older siblings responded to all this.
Each had a unique perspective. We were taught to get on with life and it was never discussed. It would be an interesting discussion to have!
I think that would round out your own experience. Plus, your children will be curious about how their aunts and uncle reacted. I know my grown children are very curious about their relatives long-gone, or ones they rarely see.